


Jokeaholic

by gammaray



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Bad Jokes, Gen, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 20:26:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1085340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gammaray/pseuds/gammaray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>PROMPT: Noiz picks up on puns and pisses everybody off with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jokeaholic

**Author's Note:**

> aaaa i finished this right before I had to do my oral presentation for Spanish. at least I was able to find really shitty jokes

"Hey, Aoba." 

"What?" 

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?" 

Aoba turned around in his chair to glare at Noiz, who was perched on the bed behind him. He was staring at his coil's screen, lips pursed in concentration. His gaze flickers over to the blue-haired man, raising his eyebrows. "Well?" 

"Are you being serious or is this another one of your stupid puns?" 

"Ouch," the blond deadpans, hands continuing to hover over his holographic keyboard. "Just answer it." 

Groan. "I don't know." 

"If you have bird flu, you need tweetment—" 

" _Noiz._ " 

"—but if you have swine flu, you need oink-ment." 

"That was fucking terrible." Aoba covers his face with his hands, regretting he let Noiz continue. "I should take away your internet privileges." 

***

"Oi, Mink." 

Noiz stands at the bottom of the staircase, rounding the corner to sit down on the arm of the couch that Mink is currently occupying. Rose-colored eyes narrow, but he sets his book down anyway. "What?" 

"What bone will a dog never eat?" 

"..." He watches Noiz with suspicion, but when Noiz just watches him expectantly, Mink shakes his head with an irritated sigh. "I don't know. Tell me." 

"A trombone." 

"Leave." 

***

"Hey. Pissface." 

"F—" Koujaku nearly drops his curling iron on top of Aoba's head, swearing under his breath. "What the hell?" 

Aoba frowns, looking at Noiz. Part of his hair is in little ringlets. Koujaku must be testing out a new item. "Don't you dare," he says warningly, speaking to Noiz as if he were a child. 

"Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?" 

When no response comes, Noiz leans in so he's in Aoba's face, grinning at him. He can see Koujaku's grimace in his peripheral. 

"A barber." 

***

"Clear, you under there?" 

Peaking out from underneath the couch, Clear wiggles out with ease, gas mask and all. He sits down on the couch next to the arm that Noiz occupies. "Noiz-san? Why is everyone so mad today? I heard some yelling..." 

"They don't appreciate my jokes. I think they're mad at me." If this upsets him, it doesn't show. 

"Ooh, Noiz-san! Are you going to tell me a joke?" 

"I can if you want me to." 

Clear claps his hands together, humming with satisfaction. "I do!" 

"Alright. What did the zero say to the eight?" 

"Ah?" Noiz can practically hear the frown in Clear's voice. "But numbers can't talk..." 

"Nevermind." 

"No, wait, please tell me!" 

***

"Noiz." 

The click-clacking of keys stops, Noiz's attention shifting to the man standing at the door. "Oh, you're awake." He turns his hologram off and looks at Ren, fiddling with his bridge piercing absently. "Aoba's in his room." 

"I am aware." Ren continues to stand at the doorway. "I have been informed that you are telling jokes." 

Noiz shrugs, dropping his hands back into his lap. "Yeah. No one finds them funny." 

"Could you..." The former Allmate rubs the back of his neck as he hesitates. "Could you tell me one? If it is not too much." 

"Sure, man, but I'm not expecting you to laugh. I haven't even seen you laugh before." 

"I will try." 

"What has more lives than a cat?" 

Ren furrows his eyebrows. "I do not know." 

"A frog. It croaks every night." 

***

"Uh, Aoba?" 

At the sound of Noiz's voice, Aoba turns off his monitor and goes over to the doorway of his room to peak out at Noiz's bedroom door. "Don't you dare tell me another joke." 

"No." Noiz comes out and takes Aoba's wrist, guiding him into his own room. He gestures to the lump underneath his sheets. "I don't know what to do." 

Aoba blinks, unsure of what to be looking at. "What...?" 

"I told Ren a joke because he wanted me to, and he laughed so hard that he passed out."


End file.
